Occasionally I browse through my followed tag lists on WordPress in order to find common themes within a topic, My favorite tag to follow so far is dating since it contains so much variety and opinion on a topic that is accessible to almost everyone. One common complaint I am finding is that fellow bloggers in the dating scene are having trouble defining what they truly desire in a partner. They meet semi-desirable people who have one or two off putting traits that kill an opportunity for a meaningful relationship. This leaves them wishing they had understood more about what they wanted in an ideal partner before jumping into the thick of things.
Being in a successful relationship has taught me a lot about traits that I desire in my ideal partner and I wish to pass on some of my thought processes to you singletons out there who need it much more than I do. My girlfriend and I frequently communicate our celebrity or internet crushes to each other and explicitly define what makes us attracted to them. I felt that I learned about what I desired through comparisons to my girlfriend. Even if you are not in a relationship you can take a couple crushes and compare what they have in common.
For me it helps to focus less on physical traits and more on everything else. I can tell if I’m attracted to someone physically in two seconds, but I can’t determine non-physical attractions as easily.
Without further ado, here are my top three internet crushes in no particular order:
Ashley Elizabeth is a Canadian Youtuber currently enrolled in college. She is very open about her personal opinions and experiences for the sake of giving advice to others about sexual health and beauty. However, she does so without awkwardly giving up information that makes the listener think “Omg TMI Ashley”. Even though she’s talking to you, you can tell she’s a great listener and communicator because it never feels like Ashley is talking at you. Her communication skills show Ashley can definitely hold a conversation about almost anything and its definitely a minus if the person she’s talking to goes “mhm” instead of actually answering. Therefore Ashley makes a point to emotionally understand her partners and share individual preferences and desires. Additionally, from the products she uses, once can tell she takes great care of herself and I believe that also translates to a positive attitude in general. Most importantly to me, she seems to be a very honest person. Both in the sense that she won’t lie or cheat and she doesn’t have a problem telling you how she feels. She’s not the kind of girl to wait 6 hours before texting you back.
Ana Kasparian is a news talk show host for The Young Turks (TYT). Ana mostly focuses on social commentary type stories, but uses empirical evidence from studies to make conclusions, which are relatable to the audience. To me this displays her intelligence. Ana discusses intellectual topics while breaking them down into everyday terminology. This proves to me that she puts a great deal of thought into her opinions and her convictions leads her to firmly stand behind her beliefs. Ana is also self aware. She has spoken on occasion about viewers or critics taking her looks more seriously than her talking points. While she freely admits she cares about her appearance, that is somewhat distinct from her talking points and wishes it to be viewed as so. Openly stating her frustration was extremely attractive to me. At the same time Ana can switch off her journalist engine and just relax and have fun. Being able to take a break from news, politics, and writing to sip martinis and talk about our favorite music seals the deal for me.
Emily Hartridge is a Youtuber who labels herself as a presenter. She makes lists of reasons why that are related to dating, relationships, and sex. Boy does she have a great sense of humor. I feel a little giddy giggling at her jokes because she is just so willing to use self depreciating jokes and skits that would make you think you were watching a softcore porno. However this is so artfully done that I never doubt that she is a very classy woman in real life, but her ability to act the part for the sake of humor gets me good. She is the kind of girl you feel could potentially be your best friend and your girlfriend at the same time. Watching her videos sometimes makes me think she’s one of the boys, but then she just turns it around and becomes really feminine. That combination is quite a catch. In addition Emily comes off as a hardworking self made person, detailing the struggles she has had to endure to reach some stability in her career. I can just feel her determination to become a better person and her drive definitely inspires me.
From that I learned:
- Communication and honesty are top on my list. If you can’t straight up tell me what’s on your mind, I’m probably going to be a miserable choice for you.
- Hard working women are the shit. I don’t care how much money you make or what your job is, if you work hard and stand on your own two feet I really admire and respect that. They also tend to be more independent and I like some personal space.
- I need someone who can hold a conversation. If I become close to you, I just won’t stop talking to you and i expect quality delivery. All of these women make a living talking to a camera, I think they’re pretty good at talking for long periods of time.
- Lastly I value women who take care of themselves mentally and physically. This shows a good sense of self worth. I’m good at cheering people up, but I don’t want to be the reason you treat yourself well. Also taking good care of yourself is really sexy.
- I watch too much Youtube and probably should become more productive in my free time.
These are my results and hopefully all you people out there find what makes a person attractive in your eyes! Let me know what you find attractive in the comments, I would love to know.